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mom just got back from jap last night.
now everything's back to normal.
damn.
no more fagging or drinking in bed.
in her bed anyways.
this was the 1st time i got the whole place to myself.
never ever in my 23years have i ever been left at home ALONE for more than a few hours.
i couldn't sleep the 1st night. haha.
scaredy cat.
i realised that my ocd intensifies the farther mom's from mi.
i cleaned the house every goddamn day i was home.
maybe i was just bored.
i found myself looking at the clock and thinking 16:30 nearly here.
then remembered mom's in jap.
but i survived.
so i slept with a tea light.
and the bathroom light the 1st night.
okay, okay. 2nd night too.
but i survived.
even with the dead lizard i unearthed while cleaning the house.
even with a funeral wake in the void deck.
i survived.
sudden urge to run away and live alone
had 'teh o iced less sugar' w the cat and the apnn last wed.
we were supposed to have a really short coffee before we mug to finish the cat's flipbook. submission was on the next day, thur
-.-"
best part was that we coffeed till about 3+, during which we agreed that sg boys are all so whiny that if ever there's a war, they'll cry for their mummys
and their mummys will pat their heads,
sigh,
and take up arms.
if ever there's a war, apnn'll be the garang one and just chiong ah.
the cat will hide in a very leafy shrub.
and i will borrow military strategy books.
now that i've got some time to bounce things in my head, contrary to what we predicted,
i think i'll probably be the first to go.
a spider falls onto the book on my lap.
i scream.
pang.
dead.
hehe.
anyways, the cat (to apnn):" u so garang, u'll just chiong then kena bullets and die."
apnn :" if kena arms, still can move, ok whats, if kena here (points to forehead), then got problem la."
-.-"
the cat :" then i'll probably be so emo, i'll shoot myself."
we then decided to explore if apnn did not die.
she'll use up her ammunition damn fast.
so she'll borrow bullets from the cat, who's supposed to be a shrub.
the enemies'll scratch their head wondering why the fk is she talking to a shrub and shoot both the shrub and her.
the cat thinks i'll survive the war, walk over to the bastard who offed them, and kick his very dead arse.
oh man, lack of sleep and too much tea is not very good on the brain.
i've not laughed so hard in too long a time.
red. the color of my hands.
flash of silver as the chopper fell.
and fell. and fell. and fell.
the sound of metal hitting bones.
thud. thud. thud.
again and again.
the tortured cries,
the desperate pleas.
unhearing. unseeing. uncaring.
laughter bubbled up my throat.
he he. hiccups. he he he.
the roaring increased decibels in my ears, my head.
fuck. will someone please just answer the fucking door?
i cant hear past the pounding.
wait.
is that my head that's pounding?
or my heart?
what heart?
what heart... what heart...
they laughed at me.
look down, look down...
look down, look down...
my heart.
