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went to visit my dad with mom on sat.
i think i might have a heart attack soon.
feelings that were forcefully buried seeped through.
i had to fight down tears and keep my voice steady.
we chanted there.
did not want to break down/
make my mom worried/
make a fool of myself there.
felt like someone just gutted me.
images kept flashing in front of mi.
the harder i tried not to remember, the sadder the images.
think i lost a part of my brain for trying too damn hard to lock up my pain.
think no one will ever see the real, damaged ting again.
bid goodbye.
whoever said time heals all wounds have not loved.
for some wounds never heal.
some pain never pass.
some fools never learn.
