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a bittersweet taste on my tongue.
a tangy,tannin sweetness.
a chocolate coated candy surprise.
a dull ache in my chest.
it feels like a wound newly inflected,
no pain, no panic.
yet.
a death wound.
sink or swim?
right or left?
up or down?
front or back?
total pandemonium.
which path should i choose?
that of a coward or a fool?
while i was having lunch with the crew this noon, for a sec, everything blanked out.
maybe it was an orgasm from good food.
but everything blanked out and i heard a tempo,
i heard a tune.
for a second, i thought i understood.
then, the moment was lost.
the music with it.
and for a min i grieved.
she stared numbly out her window.
unseeing, she fumbled with her pack of cigarettes and,
after a few tries,
managed to place one between her lips.
raising her trembling hand,
she lit it and took a nice, long drag.
peace for about 5 seconds.
but the images kept coming.
they kept coming and wouldn't stop.
she hugged her arms around herself protectively.
she covered her ears, trying to drown out the audio.
she closed her eyes to block out the visuals. guilt tore at her,
it lashed out as surely as whips upon her back.
the pain crashed through her,
crippling her as though arthritis struck.
they found her the next day.curled into a ball,
with the cigarette butt between her fingers.
they dont know how she died.
just that her heart stopped beating.
