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TAG = {all this time}
itz time to grow up now...
tell mi a story...
sing mi a song...
hold mi close like ye used to,
so tender yet so strong...
show mi ye heart,
lend mi ye ears...
may i borrow ye shoulders,
to dry all ma tears?
tell mi a story...
sing mi a song...
hold mi close like ye used to,
so tender yet so strong...
listen to my voice,
remember it well.
for in this noisy world,
that which was mine is hard to tell.
tell mi a story...
sing mi a song...
dance like we used to,
even when im gone...tears are for fools.donna ye worry,for im one too...
a little girl lost in a the midst of concrete tree,
trying to find her way home from the grey jungle filled with huge, menacing shadows.
all of them her own.
to be devoured by monsters of her own.
never to be seen again.
*poof*
gone.
i think itz stupid to do what i did. but at that point of time, i was desperate for some comfort, for a bit of assurance. and who did i went to? i went to the one person my brain was fine-tuned to turn to in times of need, to the one person whom i can lose myself and not feel embarassed, to him who still held a part of mi i didnt know i had lost till that day. to him. back to him. always to him.
i wasnt thinking straight, i was thinking at all by then. after that day, he filled my thoughts twenty four seven. it was that bad. even the incident with the mother-f*ckin flasher pales in comparision. i could think of nothing else. except of him.
the funny thing is, i dont understand why my heart still refused to let it pass. it was just one night, an innocent night. i dont even know why my fingers always dialed his number in times of overwhelming need for comfort. it just is.
i cried that night. in his arms. it felt so good... its been so long since i bawl my eyes out in anybody's arms.
i stayed over his place that night. fell asleep in his arms again after watching 'skeleton key'. its been so long since i hug anyone to sleep. hez so nice to lie on. it makes mi never want to get up. i so wanted to be able to sleep in that position with him forever. maybe its because hez big, so its very assuring and comforting to sleep with him.
hez moved the furnitures in his room but surprisingly, everything still felt very familiar. his body appeared warm against my chilled body. hez always so warm. we slept the way we used to, as though nothings changed, as though we'v never parted, as though our bodies still remembered each other, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. of course, everythingz changed. nothing ever lasts. nothing.
i was so tempted to bite him. but i didnt.
simply because hez not mine anymore.
we walked, walked, walked and walked somemore. it was a super tiring day!!
i wore pumps, and got gigantic blisters in return for all our troubles.
blez. super painful...
(- -.)
met dean early for soup spoon. yummy~ their serving size had grown! their reg now damn big.
we ordered tangy tomato, cheezy wedges and iced tea. we could only finish the tea. haa.
we got 'lost' trying to find the arts house. damn. walked to the wrong acm. it's beside the NEW acm. we went to the OLD 1.
(- -")
we didnt even know that therez old and new acm can??? blez.
luckily the security know where it is. and gave us direction. dean decided not to heed jingz direction. since she doesnt give clear enough ones. haa.
luckily we didnt. course if we did, we would have walked another big round.
the rubber on my heels broke while we were walking to the correct acm. had to fix it.
heng ar~ fu nan got clobbler. hee.
nvm. when we reached, jing reminded us about her rose.
damn.
it had totally slipped our mind.
we wanted to get it after we finish walking around as it will be a 'burden'.
but alas, we were both blur animals, so, we walked from art house in search of a florist in our blistered toes and feet.
so funny. after we got the rose, dean kept repeating,' bu shi wo gei de... bu shi wo gi de...' heez. course i was holding the rose and he felt damn 'cheap' since itz only 1 rose. ha. he doesnt want to be seen as a 'cheap' guy who bought only 1 rose for his 'gf'. ai mian zhi.
hope jing takes good care of the 1 pathetic rose. heez. though it didnt cost much, we did sweat like hell for it. not forgetting our poor feet.
jing look damn goth. but the overall effect is good.
the grey contacts and eyeshadow go well.
did dig the black stockings though.
blez.
dean was prolly the most lok kok person there. ha.
the show was okay. we were damn noisy, couldnt keep our mouth shut at all, commented on every single thing. heez.
unlike jingz mom who was serious and quiet throughout.
went for carl's jr supper after that. we tried to slip away while jing was taking photos with her pals. halfway, we heard loud 'bangs'.
OMG~
FIREWORKS!!!!!
i love fireworks!!
so exciting!! dean tried to piggy back mi cause my feet was hurting so bad. but cannot make it la. im too heavy le. heez. ate too much. then, jing called. she rushed over immediately. shez so god-damned fast lor.
so nice!! *smiles*
jing went back to her pals after that and we resumed our journey to carl's jr. so hungree. dean wanted to go chun dao he pan to cho re nao.
(- -")
ha. too bad, he was too desperate for a loo and i was dersperate for a seat to rest my throbbing feet.
we shared a mushroom burger. not bad. dean ate very little though. i ate most of it. heez. then it was home sweet home.
dont understand why isit everytime i meet him go out we must walk like hell. the only time we didnt have to was when we watch geisha.
talking about that. who wanna watch fearless and fun with dick and jane with mi???
*sighz*
it just crossed my mind that v day is approaching...
so sad..
i kinda missed him.
what if i were gone?
will anyone notice it so?
if i were to disappear from the face of this earth,
would anyone still remember my birth?
was chatting with crz at fishers the other day.
was talking about problems btw some animals.
one question she asked got me thinking.
"what if one day you just disappear? what will they do? what will happen to them?"
i was stunned at her question.
so stunned, i didnt reply her.
i realised that, actually, they dont need me.
nobody does.
life will still go on and they will unquestionally find their own answers.
the fact is i probably need them more than they me.
apart from them, crz and my bro, i havent any other friends.
so i came to a conclusion.
therez no use worrying about otherz problem.
because they will solve them in the end.
if i were gone,
i guess the world will still go on.
not missing a beat,
not missing me.
went phuture with kor yesterday.
if u get in from zouk, u cant go to phuture.
but if u get in from phuture, u can go to zouk.
so weird.
i took an awfully long time to dress up course it was a last minute decision.
so by the time we reach, phuture was supposedly full house already but the person close one eye and let us in.
hee.
walked around the place for awhile since we couldnt find korz friends.
i didnt realise i was all luminated while walking through zouk until kor told mi.
blez.
was wearing white from top to toe.ha.
i like the moving images light thingy at zouk.
nice...
think itz the only thing ttz really nice.
the rest of the decor wasnt that fantastic.
they should have more cubicles for the ladies though.
must queue for freaking long.
the music was so-so only.
cut so many of my favourite songs.
blez.
but the drinks and crowd was ok.
korz friend wanted to exchange contact with mi but i lied.
heez.
told him i couldnt remember my handphone no.
if he want to find mi, find my bro.
didnt let kor give his friend my no too.
love my kor!!
he paid for all my drinks again.
okay.
so vodka ribena wasnt that bad.
all in all, enjoyed myself that nite.
havent club since mos.
was looking forward to clubbing this sat.
but mooz reminded mi itz 'ren ri', most of the animals prolly need be home for dinner.
so itz prolly cancelled.
was quite glad i went clubbing last nite.
(^v^)
