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cny is here~
finally.
today is the second day of cny. waiting for mommy to set up the stuff for steamboat.
yippy~
yummy~
finally did the nian gao too.
i helped.
*satisfaction*
yesterday was okay actually. not as bad as i thoought it might be. heez.
went to 2nd auntz chalet.
went to grandadz place.
xiaoge and family came too. (>.<)
enxi can take bits of bread le. shez so so so adorable.
kept smiling. shez beyond cute man~
got quite some angbaos.
considering i haven really met a lot of people from daddyz side of the family. =) dont really want to meet all his family anyways. daddyz such a disappontment. shant elaborate. anywayz im also such a disappointment i guess.
haiz.
i dunno. but i dont really like cny? i mean, i like collecting angbaoz and all but... i really cant take the stress of being all nice and fake to those relatives i haven seen for so bloody long? and frankly, how can i freaking remember all your names when i dont even remember who the hell are you? *sighz* itz so freaking boring... and, they never fail to make mi feel bloody miserable by reciting their childrenz achievements. damn. of course, i only have myself to blame.
and...
i just remembered.
bloody hell!!
daddy just gave away MY TELEVISION!!!!
damn shit~ he gave it to his friend. a farking bastard. i hate him!!!!
so pissed.. his friend has like, a dozen kids?? wth~ is he a pig or something? he had never held a job long, hez like with my daddy 24 seven these days? course daddyz eyes got problem so he hadnt been working.
IM SO GOD-DAMNED PISSED WITH THE TWO BUGGERS!!!!
bloody-lame-shits...
anywayz. have i said how good bengawan solo's pineapple tarts are?? oh man!! they are outta this world!! so much better than the ones jing let me try. and so much more expensive too. damn. but they are damn good. im not kidding. gotta buy the premium 1 though. i swear it melts in your mouth. yum-my... its so much better than the ones at mooz too. course it's like the crust is wrapped around the pineapple fillings. it's not those where the fillings are on top. the crust is super nice. seriously.. i think the pineapple tart is the worthiest buy out of all the things i bought during cny shopping spree.
talking about that, jing have yet to pass me the belt she supposedly did for mi. damn. i went around without belt. felt weird course the pants is quite plain.
talkin about her, i think shez like angree with me or something. she prolly thinks that i 'snatched' dean or something. course she told mooz to call dean when mooz called her up to find me. haiz. maybe im too meddlesome.
sometimes i wish i knew less.
somtimes i wish i know more.
sometimes i wish i can help everyone.
sometimes i wish i can just walk away.
but most of the time, im just human.
i can only do this much. and im selfish in my way too. i just want to have fun. sometimes i have too much fun and i get washed along with the tide.
*sighz*
i wish im a saint too. but im not.
fuck. i hate it when i doubt myself. wondering if i did the right thing make it seem like i've not.
it was out. again. on a rampage.
to feast, to kill, to devour..
moonlight dancing on the lake.
shadows dancing at the corner of my eyes.
danced till the earth shake.
danced till the rythme break.
darkness enfold the magical hour.
weakness was not an option.
but my hesitation it had seen.
for just that split sec before.
now, the battlez lost.
my defence broken.
the rivers flood the oceans
as the sunlight flood the earth.
i cried.
for the lost love.
for the lost life.
for hez not in my heart. not anymore.
there were only memories left.
im in love with the past.
when i have nothing left except memories...
pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.
heez.
i so luv eatin them.
but i haven bought any. yet.
damned.
've yet to buy so many things!!
01. top of the list is, of course, PINEAPPLE TARTS. heez.
02. RED accessories. hehe. to have that cny spirit.
03. heels, heels, heels and more heels!! or pumps. was thinking of getting RED pumps. wadaya think?
04. more tops. i realised all the tops i got are white. and the tee is too big anywayz.
05. contacts. still under consideration though. since 'm not sure if i dare put it into my eyes. blehz.
06. RED nail polish. hehe.
think thatz about all. have already spent a lot. *sighz* doubt 'l be able to get all of the above.
anyways, i had a great week. went S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G!!!
heez.
went shopping last tuesday with marc n dean.
so weird.
2 tall guys shopping with a short gal. ha.
wed, shopped a.g.a.i.n. heez. with mooz, jing n dean.
was so pissed with marc that day.
so wishy washy. then in the end cant find replacement. then cant meet us.
damn. made mi wait for him then in the end no go. blehz.
mooz kena summon that day.
so freaking suay.
had to go home with her and LIE to her parents.
say it was my fault and all those shit.
bloody hell.
on a happier note,
at least i bought a tee, a skirt and a berms (i think itz counted as a berm).
went out again on fri. haha.
hardcore shopping xia.
dean had to service his hp.
i was hungree...
so we stopped by far east for chippyz FRIED MARS BAR and CHEESE SAUSAGE before heading to wheelock.
wasted trip!
damn.
therez nothing wrong with the hp.
the problem lies with the programme.
they are still working on it.
(- -")
next, we took bus to arab street.
another wasted trip.
we took so bloody long to find the shop that sells the singlet.
only to find out that they'v ran out of the singlet in size S.
song bo?
went across the street to textile centre help jing buy bias tape.
no stock either.
lovely day.. *roll eyes*
saturday, went out shopping with jing.
determined to buy something.
anything.
haha.
bought black berms, bras and my singlets!!
happy.
but marc poor thing.
he left his shopping bag at the ah nehz.
went back but cant find anything le.
the people there also say cant find.
poor thing.
$100+ worth of stuff.
levis and dvd.
*shakes head*
think thatz about all.
pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.pineapple tarts.
argh.. drooling..
lately, 'v been happy.
truly losing myself in all the retail therapy.
but will it last?
will i cry again?
silently, the demons wait...
FRIDAY the 13th 13JANUARY 06
went comp comp with jing and dean. yummy~ marc refused to go. duno whatz up with him.
anywayz, after comps, we went chilling out at liquidkitchen.
mooz met us there.
and
promptly started squealing over deaniez new hp. haha.
and...
started taking pix with his hp!!
presenting...
mooz, the 'zhi lian kuang'... hehe.
mooz and jing, the monkey
mi and mooz
us... again...
SATURDAY 14th JANUARY 06
went ah neh today.. heez.
therez pooltop gals today!!
jenny was there.
wahaha..
called marc immediately coz he likes her.
keke.
he so gan jiong. ha.
mi and dean decided to bluff him.
since he msged mi.
told him.
start le! start le!
heez.
he asked.
red g-strings again arh??
wahaha.
getting interesting..
dean told mi to reply him.
nono. shez wearing gold with sequinns. like little mermaid.
wahaha.
stupid dog doesnt even know whatz sequinns.
blez.
we took pix that day too.
the drinks, jingz topshop bag containing xiao ding dang bing *droolz* and my pouch!
love my pouch. hehe.
deanie, mi and marc the dog...
jing was off that day.
riot arh that gal...
shaking her boobies the whole night... (-.-")
haha.
she had 3shots.
anywayz, went for supper with marc after ah neh.
omg~
my 2nd prata that day.
*big tummy*
haiz.
met fifi and sheila while we were walking home.
hehe.
they were at frenz party.
kop tequila shots.
heez.
walked home dazed.
and tummy satisfied.
haha.
SUNDAY 15th JANUARY 06
met fifi for a drink today.
the thing was,
i didnt realised it was so late.
i wanted to ask marc along.
but,
too engrossed with talking to fifi.
and i lost track of time.
damn.
and i had to walk home myself.
double damn.
i didnt dare walk pass the route btw sgs and kensington.
so i chose to walk a longer path.
through the park.
song bo...
even then, i was still pissed scared lor.
haha.
as timid as a mouse is correct.
heez.
was on the fone with marc throughout.
else i pass out somewhere le.
haha.
not coz of the beer i drank.
but prolly coz of an heart attack or sth.
hehe.
it was that scary for mi.
uncertainty consumed her
bit by bit
little by little
is that why shez so afraid of the dark?
the wheel of life is turning
the game of risk unbending
dare u gamble your sanity
in return for peace?
the tempting whisper of flesh
the distant heartbreak
would u trade ur heart
for a piece of meat?
what is lacking?
the lonely companionship?
the eradication of karma?
the most sought after pieces of paper?
a life of sins
a soul devoid of love
the irresistable lure of fate, the temptress
ah...
a life of lust,
a life of drinks,
a life gone up in puffs..
the more u put mi through
the more i wanna come back to u..
u say u hate mi,
i'l just love u more.
u dont want mi?
i just want u more..
twisted and bent.
her mind was.
a damaged soul,
a broken heart,
the makings of a demented being..
argh..
i duno what im up to anymore.
i wish to sleep,
to not wake up..
im so tired..
argh..
so confused..
my mind..
i wish to wake up,
itz tiring to keep dreaming..
to relive the nightmare again and again..
im afraid.
pissed scared.
i dun want to relive it again..
i dun want to remember it..
itz too fuckin real..
itz over man.
stop huanting mi.
i hate it..
hate it! hate it! hate it!!!
why??
itz been so long..
will the past huant mi forever??
twisted and bent,
her mind was.
this tormented soul pleads,
for the past to let go its grip.
twisted and bent,
her mind was.
smiling, she let go
and plurged headfirst to her release.
still us, jing and mi us AGAIN!! heez~ pix taken on NYE jing and mi~ us again.. our reflections (^v^) haha.. i think we'r damn zhi lian.. almost all the pix contain our faces!! haha.. still us.. our 1st "meal" of the year.. love the coffee cheesecake!! marc and mi~ marc and mi again~ my god.. i look so fat here.. my FAT cow and moi hehe. end of pix. love them all!!!!pix from taken from MOS's ladies
r u bored yet? 
jing, fifi n mi~ 
the fat blob i was talking about...
deareast moomoo~~
the dark curtains seemed to be closing in.
i know why.
i know therez only hurt and despair waiting for mi.
i know.
but i cant seem to change path.
i cant seem to stop.
i know i will emerge damaged.
i know i will emerge scarred.
but still, i walked on.
i not sure if im wrong.
i used to be so sure that i was.
i dont want to stop.
i cant seem to walk out of this gloom.
it felt like an old friend.
so familiar yet so sad.
beckoning mi forth,
so welcoming.
but i know what lies beneath.
i had seen the ending.
heard itz screams.
pictured the destruction.
dreamt itz dreams.
and still, i walked on.
maybe im not as strong as i thought.
maybe im weakening.
im confused now.
i was so sure.
darkness swirled around mi.
toying with mi,
itz presence like an eerie projection leftover from an old violence.
waiting, waiting for my fall..
watching, always watching..
can u feel my terror?
can u feel my pain?
can u feel my turmoil?
can u keep a secret?
perhaps i will defeat them.
perhaps i will win.
i might not return unscarth.
but the wounds will fade.
the pain will go.
one day.
will you be my friend?
will you be my guiding light?
will you stand by mi while i play with fire?
will you help mi defeat them?
will you be at the ending waiting for mi?
(warning: bloody long blog. im not kidding.. u are warned..)
omg~ cant believe it. the year has come and gone. im going to turn 20 this year. drats. so bloody OLD!!
so... time to update my life.
FRIDAY NYE'S EVE
MOS!!!
1stly, everyone was LATE!! ha. i called marc when i hopped onto a cab headed to s'goon mrt station and...
HE WAS STILL AT HIS PLACE THERE, WAITING FOR HIS BUS!!! (- -") damned.. waste money..
anyways, when we finally get to the QUEUE at mos, it was farkin long lor. nvm. jing was LATE LATE LATE!! nevermind.. SHEZ BROKE!! ok, she has got monies in her bank. but what farkin use is it if the atm is down?? fifi helped pay 1st for her cab fare and mi, her entry. nevermind.. there was this couple queuing behind us at first. they looked like 30+? my god, it looks like they lostr their kids and were trying their luck in finding them at mos. (- -") then, i dont know how, they cut themselves between fifi's group and us. nevermind. *pop* this girl appeared and asked fifi if they could cut into the queue. she lets them. nevermind. she brought another 3person with her. damn xia. marc was like 'eh.. how come we like queuing further and further back?'
after about what seemed like eternity and dozens of fags later, we finally got in. gals at $20. guys at $30. song bo?
we explored the place and whoa~ itz like a maze lor. and i even had to help jing ask the people working there where is the baggage counter. so farkin paiseh. i swear the bartender was trying to control her laughter. she looked at mi like i was an idiot and gave mi directions. and u know what? marc knew where the damned counter is. i just didnt think to ask him. (- -") dumb..
but it was fun la. stayed in smoove most of the night. the dj's a gal and shez kinda inconsistent. her music can be so nice 1min and so anti-climax the next. blez. but i was still acting like a siao cha bo on the dancefloor. ha. might be due to the fact that i was wearing abit of heels, so though by not much, im still abit taller. hehe. which is enuf for mi to dance with jing. (>.<)
also, we saw this huge fat gal there. OMG!! shez so so so so fat!!! blez. we secretly took pix of her. heez. the thing is, itz the clothes she was wearing that make her so... yucks.. she was wearing this very very short black halter dress.. with a green cardigan.. and her fats is like spilling out from the halter. and she acts like she looks like a million bucks. so damn 'kan bu shun yan'.
argh...
oh ya~ the dancefloor was so packed. mi, jing, marc n shichong went in and we were so squashed. we managed to squeeze our way through to the dj area though. along the way, i noticed jingz face abit weird weird. so i kinda started dancing with her and realised chong's hands was on her hips. ha. she poorthg. we edged our way to the wall there and she flattened herself against the wall. releasing her from chong's 'hug'. blez.
i dunno why, i dun like it either when he touch mi. wahaha. at the dancefloor, marc was holding my waist coz people were trying to pass, then, i noticed another hand at my other waist. i got so paranoid, i grabbed the hand and asked whoz was it. ha. jing assured mi it was 'zhi ji ren's but somehow, i wasnt assured so i tried ways to shake off his hands. heez.
ok, i think im super long winded. shall end the mos update here.
SATURDAY NYE
TOWN THEN AH NEH
met marc and jing to eat ajisen at bishan 1st before heading down town. marc pyscho mooz to join us. heez. we had ice cream!! nice... hazelnut chocolate... i think im addicted to hazelnut choco now. craving for kinder bueno.. *drools*
we wanted to walk to doby ghuat coz marc and i wanted to eat sashimi. but our dear mooz, was adamant. she was whining so badly. i felt like strangling her. blez. so we took bus. damn strez. i nearly dropped the ice-cream cup on the bus, resulting in sticky fingers. yucks.but it was a wasted trip. no more sashimi.
so we walked back. on the way, jing gt sprayed.
we took refuge outside meritus mandrin. decided to sit down for a cuppa. i got sprayed. reached starbucks. poor manager. she was strapped and bounded to a chair in tape. put on a trolley and was pushed out to near california fitness. the staff all attacked her with whipped cream. gosh. shez so poor thing. shez like so helpless. couldnt defend herself at all.
we left 2005 and entered 2006 there. haha. of all places??
after that, we trekked back to shaw for mooz car. lame shit. i got sprayed along the way. but i was in a good mood. i dunno why. but i was. i screamed knn at them and continued talking kor on the phone. ha. i was determined to be happy i guess.
went down to ah neh for drinks. had whisky dry and tequila shots. and i started being crazy. i wanted to be happy on the 1st day of the year. i wanted to do crazy stuff and still be able to laugh later.
the tequila gals were there. turned out 1 of them, mi n marc had seen before. he remembered her. i dun. heez. but when she said her name, i rem. omg. her bod's to die for.. so bloody nice. really fit and flat tummy..
new yr resolution. tone up bod. haha. i doubt it will ever be put into action.
oh ya~ mooz brought nicholas. hez got so many tricks up his sleeves. must be use them 'pian' mei mei rite? haha. itz not fair to trick mi when im like high lor.. blez.
after that, marc walked mi home coz mooz had to fetch her sis. jing took cab home.
oh well. it wasnt fantastic. but i still had a great time being high, disturbing the dj and stuff. heez. lovely. he played my humps twice. heez.
2 siao cha bo photo-whoring. wahaha. 
