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ABOUT = {what i've}
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TAG = {all this time}
she fell in love.
a happy ending gone wrong.
her prince was not in love.
at least not with her.
her heart in million pieces.
but still she stood with him.
she walked unseen in his background.
unheard in the sound.
blended in the darkness,
as only she knew how.
not once did he notice,
not once did he know
of the lady in his background,
the lady who loved him so.
one day, she gathered up her courage
and screwed up all her common sense.
she walked out of his background
and right into his outstretched hands.
he was constantly amazed by her
in awe of her
but not in love with her.
she was just a sport to him.
a pastime he indulges in.
he got married in the end,
to a princess of a faraway land.
the day they took their wedding vows
was the day the lady's world came tumbling down.
she melted away into the night.
sheded tears of a lonely girl.
bloodied wrists and a demented mind.
anguish cries of torture.
useless attempts of a deprived fool.
shattered dreams of a blessed tomorrow.
but her life would not give her up.
she survived that pathetic yesterday
and emerged a broken soul.
but, again she returned to stand by her prince.
in his background.
in his dreams.
her greatest sin.
itz getting harder to confess;
the more i write, the less i confide.
itz getting harder to write;
the more i confide, the less i reveal.
how?
what should i do?
i have a million sins to confess,
a thousand secrets to reveal,
yet they are still safe,
locked in my heart.
i wish i could get a new life.
change a new personality.
all i could do now is
fall helplessly
headfirst into a dark black pit.
the burden is weighing mi down.
itz tearing mi up.
shreded to little pieces,
never to be whole again.
the burden is weighing mi down.
itz wearing mi out.
itz job is near completion.
my soul cant hold much longer.
im not making sense anymore.
im not myself anymore.
im not confused.
i just cant stop myself.
but i will.
because itz the right thing to do.
but i cant turn back now.
i can only walk on.
im too far gone.
harden my wings and learn to fly
all i want for xmas is love
anybody wanna love mi??
i love u, crz!!!!
hehe.
for buying mi a bag.
just because...
just cause im started school.
so sweet...
hehe.
"black black heart, song gei ni wo de xin..
ji hua shi fen jai lu xing ar wei he xiang jie ju?
wo ming bai, zhu zai ni de huai li,
que bu yi ding zai ni xing li,
ba li xia yi zhen tian yu.."
i like the sentence " wo ming bai.. zhu zai ni de huai li, que bu yi ding zai ni xing li.. "
meaning : i understand.. being in your arms doesnt means being in your heart..
nice eh? heez.
i kept repeating this song. i duno. but i think itz quite true.whatz the point of keepin him with you when he loves another? you will still be miserable. so what if you just wanna keep him to yourself to piss her off? his heart is not with you. by refusing to let go, you locked yourself up in a barred cage and throw away the key. you gave up a chance to taste freedom.
me. i hope im not wasting my efforts. i dun really know what to do anymore. somethimes, my mind shuts off when people tells me their problems. itz not because i dun care, itz because itz prolly the same old thing, same old quarrel, same old tale. i'v run outta ideas on what you should do. just do what you usually did, since history is repeating itself over so many times you should already have got the hang of things. why ask for my opinion when you dont really need it? when you have already decided on your course of action and is just waiting for someone to agree with you? u dun need an approval, just do whatever your heart tells you! listen to it sometimes. and follows it. maybe you will be hurt, maybe you will shed tears again, but you aint lived life unless you'v loved. but know when itz time to let go, when you'r goin to hurt others besides yourself...
i shall take back my words. thanx to dabaoz. (^v^) he showed me 3 flashs they have done. so bloody cute. though not very polished but i think thatz y itz so funny. too bad i have no idea how to put it in this blog. hehe.
suddenly not so bloody moody le. hehe. dun even know why i so moody. think itz the fact that i dun seemed to be able to help. but baoz says if i managed to ease their burden, good, else itz up to them to face the problems le.
thanx man~
1st day of school
actually, todayz the 2nd day.
n i didnt go to class. heez.
anywayz, yesterday i kinda got lost in the school. as in i couldnt find the class. so bloody dumb right? so, i walked to the lift there and this lady opened the door for me.
she started chatting to me and strez~ she turned out to be my lecturer... (- -")
shez like super blur too. apparantly, it was her 1st time there and she got lost both inside and outside the school. (-.-") super best~
next, when we'r all finally in the class, she realised she doesnt know how to use the equipments. so she spent like 30minutes trying to learn.
then, when she was teaching halfway, her pen spoil, and she keep asking us if we know how to fix it.
but overall, it was ok.
she let us off early.. hehe..
death lay just outside,
a door i couldna reach..
tear had long dried,
but the fear wouldna subside.
when will the old wounds stop bleedin?
the fastest way to lose something is to want it too badly...
guess i must thread on glass now...
