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just finish mopping my auntz floor. my goodness~god knows how long is it since i did any housework.
and...
the most idiotic thing is,
I BROKE THE MOP!!!
strez~ haha. to think my aunt was glad when i offered to mop the floor for her. hehe. she probably wished she had mopped the floor herself. bleahx~
I BAKED COOKIES TODAY!! wheez~
Crs called at the right time. heez~ she "chopped" my cookies le. but~ crz~ if ya reading this, i must warn u. the cookies are NOT tested. eat at ya own risks. (^v^)
whine **I SO WANT TO READ HARRY POTTER BOOK 6!!!!!
THE SUSPENSE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!
MEI!!!! ARE U READING THIS????
QUICK FINISH READING THE BOOK AND LEND MI!!!** whine
-*.+.*-
i wish i could just disappear.
i wish i could just cease to exist.
i canna seem to do anything right.
i want to just walk away from all this.
to somewhere noone recognise me.
maybe thatz y i hid.
thatz y i ran.
i donna want to know how he is.
i donna want to know who he is with.
i donna want to see him.
i donna want anything to do with him anymore.
because i am still hurting.
because i still care.
because i want to forget him.
because he would want me to.
because he is happy now.
because i wish him happiness.
so i must forget.
so i must move on.
but i dont know how.
-*.+.*-
yoyoyoyoz~
itz been damn long since i updated this site. heez~ been lazy.. *sheepish smile*
itz been 3 weeks. 21 days.
wow~
3 weeks!!!
what have i been doing?
before the 16th, i was probably reading my hearts out. really cant remember wtf i was doing then. strez~ oh well.. *shrugs*
went to club momo on Saturday 16th July 2005.
kor left sg for Brunei on Mon 18th July 2005
went out with zoo family on Tue 19th July 2005.
went chinatown and bugis to shop with crz on Thurs 21st July 2005.
went shopping with mom, ying and mang yi for gifts for xiaoge's pretty newborn on Sat 23rd July.
went visit xiaoge's adorable babe on Sun 24th July
went hairdressers today.
yeah~ bought 4 tops, 2bras (hehez) and a pair of sandals the past week.
cut hair today.
OMG~ so broke now.
paid utility bills. *makes a face* damn lame. y should i be paying the bills when im not the one whoz home all the time? bleahx.
life sux.
anywayz, my little niece (dont think itz the correct term, but heck-) is damn cute!!!
but shez very noisy.
and she refuses to sleep. bawling every few mins to get attention.
nonetheless, damn adorable.
her eyes twinkles. and she smiles!! heez~
i dared not carry her though. shez too fragile. heez~
she arrived on this earth on Thurs 21st July.
she havena got a name yet though.
xiaoge n meizhen jiejie still got a week plus to name her.
before she gets her birthcert.
xiaoge is a damn good hubby and dad lor.
watched him bring meizhen jiejie drinks, change the babe's diapers, feed the babe, talk to the babe.
so cute!!!! heez~
SATURDAY, 2 JULY 2005
BORING OLD CHINABLACK
went to black again on sat. so damn late. wasnt even sure if i should go in the 1st place. come to think of it, maybe i shouldnt have. *sigh*
*guilty* kor came down to find mi when mi reached. *guilty* he queued 1 and half hours with mi . *guilty* by the time we got in, after 1am le. *guilty* he paid for mi again. *sigh* hate being poor.
mooz called mi when mi in queue. she wanna cut queue. in the end, she help her fren cut in but she didnt go into black. lame. very very lame.
met suling and frenz inside. she got 1 fren called ''edmund''. damn funny guy. we were like competing who can dance lowest. strez~ haha. they all amazed how low mi can go. hello~~ im like so freaking short?? haha.
sl and ed was trying to dirty dance but ed is quite tall. (compared to us la. we short. keke.) so itz like pretty weird sight. so i suggested to sl to dance on the steps, ed on the floor. hehe. not much difference but better than nothing la. *chuckles*
after that we went newton circles eat supper. stupid kor ki siao. he was like hitting mi leg when we got into sl's car. lame bro!! blimey. of course i retaliated. so fighting ensued. cant remember who won. hehe. but i was squeezing myself to my side of the seats. kor threatened to open the door. *roll eyes* childish. then he started tickling mi. blez. i was like squirming around trying to get away. bleahx. sl laughed at us, asking kor how old he is. hehez. very very very old i guess. keke.
peter ordered prawn mee. chinese is 'xia mien'. so ed ask him why he like xia mien, dont like shang mien. (- -") and harp on it for like 15mins while waiting for food to come.
i refused to eat. hehez. so kor tried to feed mi. eat a tiny mouth and clamped my mouth shut le. he tried again. in the end, the cai tao kuay drop into my green tea!!!! *(- -.)* *(- -")* blimey. kor still dare use straw SUCK out the cai tao kuay. OMG!!!! so er xin. bleahx.
after that home sweet home le. got my hug from kor. at first he doesnt wanna gimme 1. *humph* bleahx. (>.<) i started pouting and crossed my arms. ha. he relented, hugged mi and swung mi around. haha. but kinda scary cuz we damn near the stairs. hehe. oh well.. *beams* and kor called mi xiao gong zu *grins* (^v^) oh ya.. message jer while on the way to black. see where he is. too bad, hez nowhere near black i guess.. he was out drinking. *grin wiped off* blimey. cant stand myself. why msg him in the first place? *sigh*
***
MONDAY, 4 JULY 2005
SHE DIED
broken and bent,
she died.
she stood at the edge of the beach, looking up at him, eyes searching his face for an answer.
there had been urgency in his voice, desperation in his eyes,
and,
the thing that really worried her,
despair and utter hopelessness in the way he dragged his feet, when he walked front of her to the river.
"what is it? spit it out!!" she begged him.
he stared blankly out the ocean, opened and closed his mouth, as if words failed him, as if he doesnt know how to speak.
"well..??" panic rising in her voice.
"i...." he looked around wildly, avoided her gaze, ran a hand through his tousled hair, and start again.
" erm.. i... i.. leaving... had to.. love her.. engaged.. next week.. marry.. migrate.. sorry.. em.. sorry" the words rushed out. he buried his face in his hands and continue to relate his story.
but she would remember the next few minutes without sound.
the waves crashed. silence. his rumbling on about the new girl. silence.
no.
no.
she looked at him.
no.
what was he saying?
no.
she must have heard him wrong.
NO. NO. NO..
she thought.
her mind swirled.
hez going.
to live with someone else.
kiss someone else.
sleep with someone else.
wake up with someone else.
make love to someone else.
NO..!!!
quietly, she asked," when?" he stopped and stared at her.
"when are u leaving?"
"next week," he muttered.
"go.." she managed weakly, "go now.."
he faced her for a while, contemplating, then turned and left.
broken and bent,
she died.
one day,
she will rise from the ashes,
and be reborn again.
***
ya MI FINISHED ALL THE BOOKS MI BORRROWED LE!!! gotta go back and borrow somemore le. particularly liked HARRY POTTER !!! hehe.
itz seriously damn nice. so feel like reading everything all over again. thinking if i should buy the books. heez~ think it will be classic. by that i mean itz something that wont ever go outta style and people will never get sick of reading it. so niccee..... hehe.
going read book 4 and 5 again. wahaha~ since itz with mi. keke. ta ra.
hehe.. i must be mad. the freaking vol 4 and 5 is so darn thick!!! how the hell am i supposed to finish the book?? haha. but i know i will. been a bookworm this whole week man~ reading and reading.. damn slowly.. else i will run outta books to read. AGAIN.. haha..
MI LOVE HARRY POTTER!! the books i mean.
and i think i need to stop watching taiwanz MTV channel. they are playing huang yida's song "na nu hai dui wo shuo" too many times. and can u believe it?? I CRY when i hear the song. omg. even now. even more so now. i guess. the "ta jian jian wang le wo, dan shi ta bing bu siao de, pian ti lin shang de wo, yi tian ye mei zai ai guo.." meaning.. he slowly forgets mi, but he have no idea, the battered and torn mi, 've never loved another again.. yupz~
him. him. him. always him. everywhere him. evrything him. everywhere i look, him. everything i do, i see him. but he sees someone elsez shadow now. follow another's dreams now. what am i to do? just go on with life and hng in there i guess. but at times, i wondered if i would be better off dead.
'i tried.. to go on like i never knew u..
im awake.. but my world is half asleep..
i prayed.. for this heart to be unbroken..
but without u all im gonna be is ..
incomplete..'
backstreet boys- incomplete
oh ya~ i just finished this novel called 'the tea rose' last night. nice book.
i cried. haha.
not through the whole book la.
i cried when joe told fiona he made millie pregnant and he has to marry her.
i cried because fiona and joe had grown up together. they loved each other. but joe is foolish enough to drink and get drunk and give in to a temporary release.
i despise millie. she loved joe and was willing to cheat to get him. was willing to use such despicable methods to tie him to herself. but she was miserable after she got him. as he doesnt love her. at all. in the end, she got her dues. her baby was stillborn.
but in a way, she represented mi. im not vicious enough to get him so pissed drunk he cant think straight. (da baoz doesnt get drunk so easily anyway. must be damn loaded the day i get him pissed drunk that he lose his senses. haha. not seen him seriously bonkoers before. even the time he claims to be drunk, he was still sober enough to walk, open his door damn quietly so as not to disturb his folks, go to the loo, undress and sleep. dang~)or to get myself pregnant to hold on to a guy. but i was desperate enough to pull a lot of stunts. which all backfired. of course.*bitter laughter*
i pitied her. at least i see no point in keeping him next to mi when his heart is obviously somewhere else.
" god does not punish us for our sins, for our sins itself is the punishment."
"out of the blue, her best friend was leaving; her hope, her love, her very life was leaving her."
"people said time healed everything. maybe those people had never loved anyone. maybe those people had never lost anyone."
